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does bible treat women and men differently? why do we see verses like Husbands love your wife and wives respect your husband? shouldn't both people love and respect each other?

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Thank you for the question!

Let's unpack the first verse that you mentioned in ✦Ephesians 5:25(ESV). Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This is an explicit exhortation to husbands to love their wives in a sacrificial way in how Christ submitted to God the Father's will, rather than his own will (Jesus desperately prayed to God the Father for the cup of crucifixion to pass from him, but He said "Not my will, but Your will be done".) These things need to be said explicitly because there are often times, due to certain circumstances, a Christian husband may forget to love their wives in a sacrificial way.

For example, let's say the husband had a long day at work, and his wife has been home taking care of the children. Both the wife and the husband are extremely tired, but there are dishes that need to be washed. In this case, the husband may say "I put food on the table, I'm tired, you wash the dishes". When we look at this situation from a Biblical perspective, the husband is meant to further "sacrifice", despite him being tired, if the wife is tired as well, the husband is meant to wash the dishes. Sacrifice often does not come naturally to people, as people by nature are thinking mostly about themselves rather than about the welfare of another person.

For your question around why wives aren't also called to love their husband (as husbands are called to love their wives), there is ✦Titus 2:4-5(ESV), where the apostle Paul mentions that older women should teach younger women to love their husbands and their children. There is an exhortation that husbands must love their wives, and wives must love their husbands as well.

Now regarding whether or not husbands should respect their wives, in ✦1 Peter 3:7(ESV) it mentions that "husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers". There is a mutual call for husbands and wives to love and respect one another.

Now, if we are talking about the act of submission, in ✦Ephesians 5:21(ESV), it says "Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ". In this case, submission means to obey the other person; but this is not a blind obedience. If a husband is asking his wife to sin, she should refuse, because her first priority in submission is to God, and His will in what He has deemed as right/wrong. However, if it's other non-sinful matters, the wife is called to obey what her husband has decided. The other side of submission where the husband submits to the wife is in matters not related to spiritual leadership, like which church to attend, or which spiritual endeavors to pursue.

If the wife wants to eat sushi, the husband should submit to that. If the wife wants to wear nice clothes, the husband should submit to that as well; given that the circumstances allow for it. Ideally, in a relationship where the husband and the wife are both "submitting to one another", it would look something like:

"Let's grab sushi, I know you've been craving it for a while." "No, let's grab pho! I heard there was a new place that just opened up, I bet you'll love it". "We'll go there next week! Today I really want you to get to have some sushi". "Aw, alright. I love you. <3".

This would be a model of what mutual submission looks like; being rooted in love and care for the other person.

Hope this helped!